5 things you absolutely must know today

Drunk Zamboni driver does a terrible job resurfacing ice, faces charges

It happened last night between period one and two of a Bantam hockey game in the Ste. Anne arena. There’s nothing hilarious about driving drunk. But there must have been something absolutely hilarious and comical about witnessing a drunk Zamboni driver fumbling, lumbering his way around the ice, bouncing off rink boards, missing entire sections, and otherwise doing quite a terrible job. This is what happened in Ste. Anne Monday night. Spectators reported to police what they thought was an impaired operator. They were right. “You don’t have to be driving on a road to be charged with impaired driving,” Ste. Anne Police Chief Marc Robichaud told Steinbach Online. “Under the criminal code a motor vehicle means a vehicle that is drawn, propelled or driven by any means other than muscular power.” The Zamboni driver refused to provide a breath sample, and will be charged with impaired driving. [Source: Steinbach Online]

Nigeria’s president extends deadline for Boko Haram elimination

Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari has given the country’s military until the end of the month to defeat extremists Boko Haram, a terrorist cell responsible for keeping about one million children from attending school, according to the UN. In the course of the group’s six-year insurgency on Nigeria, Camaroon, Chad, and Niger, Boko Haram has forced the closure of more than 2,000 schools, and is responsible for the killing of about 17,000 people. The extremists target schools as a revolt against “Western” education, which they believe dulls the teachings of Islam. President Buhari is expected to extend the deadline, as Boko Haram remains active in many areas. [Source: BBC]

 Zoo in Germany places headless zebra corpse in the lion exhibit

A zoo in Germany threw the headless corpse of a Zebra it was forced to put down into the lion exhibit, giving the cats fresh food for a week, and providing spectators with a display of macabre science. “For carnivores, the whole body is full of nutrition. It’s got everything in it: vitamins, innards, bones to help (the lions) clean their teeth. And it’s all fresh meat. Our two lions will enjoy it,” Duisburg Zoo science director Jochen Reiter told German newspaper Bild. The zebra was sick and needed to die, said the zoo, which to date hasn’t received any complaints from visitors. [Source: Postmedia]

SpaceX rocket successfully returns to Earth in first-of-its-kind mission

Elon Musk, the high-tech, it-boy entrepreneur, has successfully launched and returned one of his SpaceX booster rockets to earth. The rocket was used to send 11 satellites into orbit. “It’s a revolutionary moment. No one has ever brought a booster, an orbital-class booster, back intact,” Musk told reporters following the launch. “We achieved recovery of the rocket in a mission that actually deployed 11 satellites.” The mission’s success is being hailed as a breakthrough in Musk’s desire to make space travel less expensive. Watch the launch below. The magic takes place at the 21-minute mark. [Source: Guardian]

This is how you make a Christmas tree out of hot dogs

It’s a Christmas tree made of wieners, and we here at Spectator Tribune believe you absolutely must know about this today. The instructions are more complex than you think they could be. And the lack of self-awareness in the accompanying write-up ensures the hot dog Christmas tree remains a sincere addition to the holiday season. Read all about it here: [Source: Luck Peach]

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