1. Shooting wounds 19 people in New Orleans
Nineteen people are injured after several men opened fire during New Orleans’ Mother’s Day parade yesterday, reaffirming the theory that the U.S. can’t seem to go more than a few goddamn months without a mass shooting. Though several wounds were considered serious, there have been no reported deaths. Police are still searching for suspects and, at this point, no one seems to have told media why the men would decide to shoot up a Mother’s Day parade. [Associated Press]
2. Factory search in Bangladesh ends, 1,127 dead
Almost three weeks after the collapse of a clothing factory in Bangladesh, and, with an official death toll of 1,127, the fire service and army are finally giving up the search. If you’re looking for a silver lining in the catastrophe, you’ll be pleased to hear that only a day after it was announced that the minimum wage for garment workers would be raised from the current $38-per-month, Bangladesh’s government told media this morning that they would now allow garment workers to form unions without permission from factory owners. [Associated Press]
3. UN wants people to eat bugs
The United Nations, who’ve clearly given up on the idea of warning the world they need to quit banging so much, have released a report suggesting people eat more insects to help supply extra protein in their diets. The UN says insects are a great option because they “are everywhere and they reproduce quickly, and they have high growth and feed conversion rates and a low environmental footprint”. Though the following BBC article points out that crickets need 12 times less feed than cattle to produce the same amount of protein, it fails to mention how much of an absolute nightmare it would be to raise a cricket herd as large as most cattle herds. [BBC]
4. Seth Meyers to take over for Jimmy Fallon
Seth Meyers, the host of SNL’s Weekend Update, has been announced as the predecessor to Jimmy Fallon on NBC’s Late Night. The move comes just over a month after NBC announced that Fallon will be taking over for everyone’s favourite late night host on The Tonight Show. Both Meyers and Fallon are expected to be in their new positions by early next year. [New York Times]
5. Chris Hadfield returns to Earth
Chris Hadfield, the Canadian astronaut who seems to have singlehandedly gotten everyone psyched about space again, will be returning to Earth tonight after a five-month stay in the International Space Station. Hadfield was sent to the space station to perform over 100 experiments, but he has also put aside time to tweet photos and release videos of himself doing cool shit. Here’s his final video release: a performance of David Bowie’s ‘Space Oddity’ straight from the depths of space. [National Post]
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Mark Schram grew up on a ranch in southwestern Manitoba and now writes out of Winnipeg. If you would like to offer him a job or ask him about how to pull a calf, you can contact him at markcschram@gmail.com.